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Is your family experiencing anger in the caregiving situation? Are you as the caregiver feeling angry? Anger is a fairly common emotion showing in a caregiving situation. Again, Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross’s model of grief, particularly the second stage – anger – can help understanding this emotion. This stage implies that people cannot endlessly deny illness and death. However it is quite possible that they get angry about the fact that this should also happen in their family and apply to their loved ones and themselves. Getting angry is a natural reaction and only worrisome if it persists. During this “angry” time, crucial conversations should not be pushed, and it is not wise to make important decisions. It is also a challenge to keep up the motivation and stamina to contribute the best to the caregiving situation.

Here are 5 tips of how to handle anger:

1.) Step back and take stock for yourself:
What are you feeling? Are you feeling sad, angry, lonely, or under pressure? It is important to understand that whatever you are feeling: you are allowed to feel exactly that!

2.) Get as much information as you can about caregiving and possible emotional reactions:
Information about the emotional part of caregiving situations might help you get some distance to your family’s reaction. It might also help to understand that you are not alone; others have experienced the same challenges.

3.) Focus on what you love about the person who receives the care:
Connecting to the core of what you love about the person receiving the care helps you winding down. It helps creating a situation in which, despite the challenges, the positive is allowed to show and be shared.

4.) Identify activities that you and the person receiving the care enjoy:
Sharing activities that go beyond the caregiving is important – otherwise the emphasis will always be on the caregiving and the challenges that come with it. Activities depend, of course, on what the situation allows but may include: watching a movie that both of you like; playing cards or other games together; going to a favorite place; reading a book to the person, etc. It is important to make room for those activities on a regular basis.

5.) Getting professional help:
If important decisions need to be made during a time of anger, it is highly advisable to get professional help to move through those conversations.

What is your experience? I look forward to your comments!